The diagrams show statistic information regarding the ages of the habitants of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and also a estimative for 2050.
We can see that in 2000 the majority of people in Yemen was between 0 and 14 years old, whith 50.1%, whereas in Italy most of the population was between 15-59 years old (61.6%), in the same year. On the other hand, just 3.6% of people in the former country was 60 years old or more in 2000, while in the latter country this figure is represented with 24.1%.
The projections for 2050 show that the number of people with 15-59 years and 60 years or more will increase in Yemen, reaching 57.3% and 5.7% respectively. In contrast, in Italy, the population with 15-59 years will decrease to 46.2%, while people with 60 years or more will grow to 42.3%.
Overall, it is possible to see that there is an upward trend on the rates of people with 60 years or more in both countries.
(得分原因)The answer addresses the task, “reporting sufficient details”(信息比較全面) for the reader to be “accurately informed”(信息精確)
(失分原因)even though in each chart one element is “implied”(暗示) “rather than overtly stated”(沒有清晰描繪). (如范文第2段中沒有清晰說明2000年也門15-59歲人口的比重以及意大利0到14歲的人口比重;再比如范文第3段中沒有清晰說明兩個國家2050年0到14歲的人口比重)。
(得分原因) “Clear comparisons”(清晰的信息比較) are drawn between the two countries. An overview is given(總趨勢描繪),
(失分原因) although focusing on only one age group reduces its clarity. (最后一段只總結了兩個國家60歲以上的人口的改變而忽視了別的兩個年齡段的總趨勢描繪)。
(2) 連接性與連貫性:
(得分原因)The information is well organised and a range of linking devices used, e.g. whereas; the latter country.
以第二段為例讓咱們一同體會連接詞的運用:
We can see that in 2000 the majority of people in Yemen was between 0 and 14 years old, with 50.1%, whereas in Italy most of the population was between 15-59 years old (61.6%), in the same year. On the other hand, just 3.6% of people in the former country was 60 years old or more in 2000, while in the latter country, this figure is represented with 24.1%.
(3) 詞匯:
(得分原因)”Vocabulary is adequate”(詞匯量和詞匯使用精確度足夠) for the task and “generally accurate”(基本精確),
(失分原因)though attempt to use less common words are less successful. A few errors occur in word formation e.g. statistic (statistical); estimative(estimate), but they “do not affect understanding”(有錯誤可是不影響理解).
(4) 語法:
(得分原因)Simple and complex sentence forms are produced with few grammatical errors,
(失分原因)but the range of structures is rather restricted(句式缺少多樣性)